The Flames of Perfection
by Serah Villiers
Summary: [One-shot] The group has been split up on Mount Gagazet, Lulu finds herself alone, contemplating her life and childhood, and her strive for perfection. LuluAuron.


**Main pairing is Lulu/Auron, there is some Wakka/Rikku, and some slight Wakka/Lulu and Yuna/Tidus. **

  


**There are some OC's in this, as I have not seen anything to indicate of Lulu's family, in this fic she lived in Bevelle as a child, and her family were rich and well respected. Her father was a guardian, and she has a sister and brother. She moved to Besaid on her own for reasons which are explained in the story.**

  


**This is dedicated to The Jack of Spades, thank you for your help, and for getting me interested in this pairing!**

  


  


  


_**~*~The Flames of Perfection~*~**_

  


The fire flickered and wavered, threatening to blow out completely due to the harsh winds of the mountain. Swaying dangerously, the fire hungrily ate at the only wood that had been provided at it's feet.

  


But, too soon the wood was no more, all that remained were ashes of the fallen trees, now destroyed by the dwindling flame. And the mountain was submerged into darkness.

  


"Damned fire."

  


A few seconds, and a powerful firaga spell later, the mountain top was once again flooded with the warm orange glow provided by the flames.

  


"There, much better."

  


The black mage smirked to no body in particular. In fact she had let the flames dwindle on purpose, she had wanted to test her magic skills, having not had any practice for three days she was worried she had lost her touch. Thankfully this had not been the case.

  


She sighed and looked around her current dwelling, the cave was not very big, large enough for two people to fit comfortably - which was a good thing.

  


The floor had been covered with snow, but after a few fire spells the snow was gone and the ground perfectly dry and slightly warm to the touch. Smiling as she recalled her skills she leaned back against the stone wall, not for the first time finding herself with nothing to do.

  


Out of boredom more than anything she took out a Moogle doll, plucking at a piece of cotton which had stuck to the Rune Mog's fur. After a few minutes of preening the doll Lulu put it away, favouring staring out of the small opening, into the snow covered peaks of Mount Gagazet awaiting the return of her companion.

  


She sat for nearly an hour waiting. Growing frustrated that they had not returned, yet glad for the same reason. Her feelings had been confused by the last conversation they had, before the other had left in the pursuit of 'more wood.' 

  


The only forest for miles was a twenty minute walk from the cave, and she had been sitting here bored for several hours. She had realised long ago that her companion also needed time alone, to think things over.

  


Sighing again she began to twirl one of her braids delicately around her fingers, marvelling at how long it had truly become. She remembered when her mother used to brush her hair, saying how lovely it was, but how strange that she were to have such pure black hair when the rest of her family were platinum blonde with startling blue eyes.

  


_"Lulu you hair is getting so long now, it's half way down your back!"_

  


_Lulu smiled as she sat in her mothers room, on an elaborately decorated chair in front of the mirror. Her mother stood behind her, running a golden brush through the ebony locks._

  


_"Now, Lulu, tonight is a very important night, remember? You have to behave responsibly, okay? No messing around. Your father and I need for you to be on your best behaviour."_

  


_"All right, mummy, I promise I'll be good, but only if you do my hair like you did for Megumi's birthday party! It was so very grown-up, people will think I'm ten!"_

  


_The older woman laughed at her daughters antics, but frowned slightly, catching sight of the time._

  


_"I don't know, it is very late. And I need to get Kagemaru ready too, he has yet to take a wash!"_

  


_"Please, mum?"_

  


_"Lulu, you know how your father gets if we are late. I don't want to make him upset, I think you're old enough to put your hair in a few braids!"_

  


_Lulu's cinnamon eyes shined with tears, as she looked up, disappointment evident in her eyes. Her mother felt her heart melt at the sweet girl, and she gave in...as she always did._

  


_"I'm sure you could do this for yourself, Lu, or get one of the maids to do it for you. That _is_ what we pay them for."_

  


_Lulu said nothing, she was sure that the maids would do it for her, and was even more sure that she could do them herself...but it was better when her mother did it. _

  


_Lulu sighed in contentment as she felt her mothers expert hands twist the raven strands quickly, yet so neatly and then fasten each braid with a length of string and a couple of beads for decoration._

  


_"There, finished. You look beautiful, Lu. Very grown up."_

  


_"Ten years old?"_

  


_"Yes, you look ten! Although remember when the night is over, you are still my little six year old, and that's how I want you to stay."_

  


_Lulu smiled and ran off in search of one of her mothers handbags to go with her outfit. Her mother watched her go with a tear in her eye._

  


_"She will find out, you know that, Arita."_

  


_"I know. But for now, can't I pretend she's our little girl? Please?"_

  


Lulu angrily brushed away the braids, and the memories that went with them. This was definitely not the moment to be thinking about her mother. Or her hair.

  


Instead she turned her attention to the flames - again. She had always had a passion for the said element, there was something about fire's perfection that she found intoxicating, perfection was one of the things that she strived for, longed for. Ever since she was a little girl it had been her ultimate goal. 

  


Sighing again she took out the Moogle doll, remembering when she had received it - Wakka had bought it for her as a gift just before they entered Mount Gagazet, they had been having a few problems and the doll was a gift to try and make things right between the two. Well that backfired nicely. She now hated him more than ever.

  


She thought back to when the group had started up the mountain, and where it all went wrong...

  


_"Hey, Lulu, I got you somethin' from that Ronso over there. Consider it an 'I'm sorry but I'll make it up to you later' present, ya?"_

  


_"You really think that a new Moogle doll will compensate for what you have done? You toyed with my emotions, Wakka, that is not something that I take lightly."_

  


_"You're right. Of course you're right. But Lu, honey, I will make it up to you. Just give me another chance? Please?"_

  


_The way his eyes had begged her reminded her so much of Chappu that she had relented, giving him one last chance. _

  


_"Come on, we're waiting for you two!"_

  


_Lulu cringed at the Al Bhed girls voice, Wakka noticing this didn't reply to the call, only walked slowly up the snow covered path - forgetting to wait for Lulu._

  


_As they walked up the path they were met by Yenke and Biran Ronso, who apparently had a dislike for Kimahri. And of course, Kimahri being the strong warrior that he is took up their challenge of a one-on-two fight. And lost._

  


_Yuna had screamed for them to stop, pleaded, begged...but to no avail. The Ronso were merciless and soon killed off their weaker opponent. As soon as they had killed Kimahri a new Ronso, even bigger than they came along to help. He had advanced on Yuna, so naturally Tidus had jumped in to save her, and ended up with a spear through his side._

  


_As Yuna was about the cast Curaga, Yenke knocked her out cold. _

  


_Then Yenke and Biran advanced on the two other ladies of the group...Rikku and Lulu. Wakka noticed this and immediately flung himself in front of Rikku, knocking her to the ground and out of harms way. To add insult to injury they landed in a rather suggestive position, Wakka on top of Rikku, causing the girl to blush madly, yet she was unable to conceal her delight._

  


_Lulu had just watched on in disgust. Obviously the Moogle doll meant nothing, and his apology had been false. She felt so stupid for believing him, this was exactly the reason she didn't let her emotions show very often...to save herself from any pain or rejection. _

  


_While Lulu had been thinking, though, Biran was ready to attack, and would have probably killed her had she not also been pushed to the ground. Shocked, she looked up at her saviour, and saw none other than Auron. _

  


_"Come on, no time to waste. We don't stand a chance against them, we need to find somewhere to hide."_

  


_No arguments from Lulu as they ran from the mountain side and found a cave quite a way from the scene of the attack._

  


And that is where Lulu had been sitting for hours. The cave had been cold, and there was little wood on the cave floor, so Auron had offered to go and get some, after they had a little 'incident' which Lulu would rather forget at the moment.

  


She ripped at the doll, pulling at it's fur, trying to make it hurt the way she was hurting inside. She had _loved_ Wakka, with all her heart. Did that mean nothing to him? She had poured her soul to the man, and received nothing but angst. She felt her eyes burning, longing to let a tear roll down her pale cheek, but they refused to fall; refused to ruin her perfection.

  


She should have been used to rejection like this by now...God knows she had suffered like this enough in the past, a loved one favouring another instead of her. Even her own father...

  


_"Lulu, for crying out loud, what kept you so long? Your mother did your hair so what could you possibly be doing?"_

  


_"I'm sorry daddy, but I wanted to look all grown-up for your important night..."_

  


_"Come on, we're going to be late now, because of you. Kagemaru and Megumi have been ready for ten minutes! And you made Arita late because she had to do your hair. Really, if you want to be grown up you have to take on more responsibilities."_

  


_Lulu stared up at her angry father, her mother was standing next to him, and slapped him on the shoulder, indicating she was displeased with his behaviour. She looked at her sister and brother, they were smirking at her, once again thinking they were better than her._

  


_"She's only six for crying out loud, she wanted to look nice for your big night!"_

  


_Arita hissed into her husbands ear, not too loud, she didn't want her children to hear. But Lulu heard. She was sick of it, sick of always trying to please her father, and then receiving nothing but criticism. Nothing she ever did was good enough for him._

  


_Her father huffed and opened the front door to their extravagant home, Lulu had never seen anything less than the huge houses in her area of the Bevelle settlement, and was unaware there was another way to live. _

  


_They set off for the meeting, it was very dark and a bit cold, Lulu wrapped her coat further around her small body in an attempt to warm herself a bit. She looked up at her father and gave him a look which clearly asked if she could borrow his jacket or something to keep her warm._

  


_And he sent her a look back, a nasty sneer which immediately said "ask and I will make your life a living hell". Lulu looked away from her fathers piercing gaze, favouring the cold pavement._

  


_"Daddy, I'm cold. And my legs are tired."_

  


_"Ah, Megumi, it's not too much further darling, how about I give you a piggy back ride?"_

  


_Megumi's face lit up as she climbed onto her fathers back. Lulu looked so upset, inside her heart was breaking. She was certain her father had done that on purpose, and was now equally certain he didn't love her as much as his other two children. And there was no surprise, Megumi and Kagemaru were like mini clones of their parents. Kagemaru was to follow in his fathers footsteps and become a Guardian, and Megumi was going to go forward with the arranged marriage to a young future Maester._

  


_But Lulu had no future._

  


_Her father had never paid her any attention, and gave no interest to her education. Her sister and brother hated her. The only person who showed her any compassion was her mother, but she loved all of her children equally. _

  


_While they were walking to Bevelle, or in Megumi's case being carried, a fiend appeared. Lulu and her siblings had never actually seen a fiend before, they had grown up in the city and were unaware of such beasts._

  


_"Arita, get the children away from here!"_

  


_Arita nodded and grabbed Megumi off of his back. _

  


_"Kazuya, please be careful!"_

  


_"Don't worry about me, get them away!"_

  


_Arita nodded as Kazuya took out a sword, and began to attack the fiend._

  


_Lulu just kept on running, Kagemaru was by her side, and they were just in front of Megumi who was being carried by Arita. Why her mother didn't just put her sister down and run faster Lulu would never know, for at that moment the fiend jumped over Kazuya's head and charged straight for Arita and Megumi._

  


_They never made it to the meeting that night. Kazuya managed to kill the fiend, and it was declared as a one-off breach in the security around Bevelle. Nothing to worry the public about._

  


_But now Arita, the only person who had ever shown compassion towards Lulu was gone. Her sister Megumi had also passed away that night, and Kazuya was having a hard time acknowledging Lulu to be his now only daughter. Instead of treating her well, he forbade her from touching any of Megumi's toys, as if she was coming right back. And she was not to speak of Arita._

  


_This was a hard thing for Lulu to do, being only six years old she was curious, and wanted to know exactly what had attacked hr mother and sister. When her father and brother went out for training as they did every week, Lulu sneaked into the main library. The books were of life outside Bevelle, and told of all the cities of a place named Spira._

  


_Every week, when the house was empty, with the exception of the maids, Lulu would sneak into the library and return the old books, and find some new ones._

  


_Once she had read all of the books on Spira and fiends she now wanted to know how to protect herself from them. So she looked around and found books on weapons. She vaguely recalled seeing Kazuya teaching Kagemaru how to handle some of these swords, but they looked heavy, too heavy for a six year old._

  


_Instead she delved deeper, until she found a single bookcase with only a few books in it. This had been her mother's she was sure of it. There were books on something called "magic", she had read that this was an effective alternative to swords, and could also be used to heal and help._

  


_Smiling. she borrowed a few books to try out some of this magic for herself._

  


Lulu looked over at the Moogle. She was feeling a little guilty, actually. It wasn't the dolls fault it had been bought by Wakka. It was simply bad luck on it's part.

  


She found her gaze once again drifting to the fire. The flames she loved so much were dancing in the slight breeze, casting shadows onto the stone wall behind. She watched them dance, the fire reflecting in her dark eyes.

  


'I want that perfection...'

  


_"I want perfection. Simple. I want to become a black mage!"_

  


_"You are joking me Lulu. Where did you get this idea of "magic" into your head? Has one of the maids been telling you-"_

  


_"No daddy, I read it in a book!"_

  


_"Oh you read it in a book! Well then, tell me...how are you going to pay for this? Black mage equipment is expensive you know. You need a doll."_

  


_"I could borrow Arita's. I found it in her stuff..."_

  


_This caught her fathers attention, he turned around, anger blazing in his eyes. When he spoke his voice was dangerously low._

  


_"You went through your mothers things?"_

  


_"I-I just wanted to see-"_

  


_"You will _never_ go through her things again young lady. Do I make myself clear?"_

  


_"Yes Sir. But if I can't have Arita's, then could you buy me one of my own? I know they are expensive, but we have more than enough, and you bought Kagemaru a new sword only yesterday. You haven't bought me anything new in ages..."_

  


_Kazuya was already turning, leaving the room._

  


_"No. I don't think I like the idea of a black mage in the family. You will not practice this magic under my roof. If you want the doll so much you can buy it yourself."_

  


_He slammed the door in his daughter's tears stained face. The little girl sank to the floor, tears building in her eyes as her dreams shattered into a million pieces, like her heart..._

  


"Where are you?"

  


Lulu was growing impatient. How long does it take to go and fetch a few pieces of timber? She had taken to pacing around the cave, the Moogle doll had been dusted off and was sitting up against the wall. Guilt had over powered her, and she remembered just how precious each doll was, it had taken a lot of willpower to get her first one.

  


_It had taken three years, Lulu was now nine years old. She had been saving any money she found about the house, gil given to her by relatives and had even sold a few of the items about the house when Kazuya wasn't looking._

  


_She now had exactly enough gil to purchase her very first Moogle doll._

  


_Smiling she walked up to a market stall and looked over the weapons, there were all sorts of things, Blitzballs, swords, lances...and dolls._

  


_Lulu looked, amazed at all of the different kinds you could get. But unfortunately they were all out of her price range. It had taken three years to get this much..._

  


_"I would like to purchase that Moogle doll, please."_

  


_The man looked at the girl. Lulu had grown a lot taller in the past three years, and had taken to wearing black, gothic clothes, manly dresses. And she always wore her hair in the braids, as a remembrance of her late mother._

  


_"That will be 980gil."_

  


_"What? No. The price tag says 900gil, exactly. And that's how much I have!"_

  


_"Well, I'm sorry, the tag is wrong. Do you have the gil or don't you?"_

  


_"Well, no..."_

  


_"Then beat it. I have other customers."_

  


_Lulu walked away dejectedly as another girl, a little older than Lulu walked up and purchased the doll she had intended on buying, leaving only one of that kind left._

  


_She sat down on the corner of the street, and watched other customers but items from the man. Then her father and brother walked into the town centre, and walked up to the stall._

  


_"Hello again. My son would like a new sword...perhaps something which can do elemental damage?"_

  


_"Of course Sir, there is this Lightning sword, just got some of them today! They are a bit pricey though..."_

  


_"I'll take it, gil is not a problem!"_

  


_Seizing the opportunity Lulu rushed to her father._

  


_"Dad, could you buy me that doll? I have 900gil, all I need is 80! It's the last one too!"_

  


_Kazuya looked at the girl as if he didn't know her, and then snatched the gil from her hand._

  


_"Where did you get this? Have you been stealing from me? You insolent little girl, you have never been anything but a liability to this family. Good thing you were never really mine."_

  


_"What? What are you saying?"_

  


_"Your mother had an affair, we managed to patch things up, but she got pregnant from the man. Didn't you ever wonder why you look nothing like me?"_

  


_"I thought it was just luck..."_

  


_Lulu instantly regretted her words as Kazuya slapped her hard across the face._

  


_"Come, Kagemaru. You have further training. Lulu, I don't wish to see you again."_

  


_Lulu stared after her father and brother, neither looked back. She wanted to cry, but for some reason no tears came out. She felt something inside of her change, and she knew it wasn't for the better._

  


_While the shop keeper was distracted, she sneaked up to the stall and snatched a Moogle doll, and then ran. She had no idea where she was going, but somehow she ended up on a boat heading for a place she had read about in her fathers books. _

  


_"Bye bye Bevelle. Here I come Besaid."_

  


Lulu was searching frantically around the cave. She had been looking for the Moogle doll, the very first one she had ever obtained. Usually she kept it on her, but it must have fallen out after the fight.

  


"No...please...where are you?"

  


Lulu fell to her knees, a tear managing to escape her eye.

  


"Why can't something just go right? I can't believe I would be so careless as to lose _that_ Moogle doll!"

  


She caught sight once again of the flames, staring at them brought a few more tears to her eyes.

  


"I want perfection...but I can't even keep track of one little doll..."

  


"Looking for something?"

  


Lulu looked up to see Auron holding her Moogle. Speechless she reached out for the doll.

  


"How did you...why did you?"

  


"I am sorry I took so long, I was out looking for the doll. I knew you had lost it long before you did."

  


"I...thank you."

  


"Hmm."

  


Auron set some more wood on the fire, and in response the flames rose higher flickering gently with a low crackle.

  


Once again Lulu found herself with nothing to say to the man. this had been the cause of their last conversation, and the reason Auron had left so abruptly.

  


"So, you never told me. Why you were helping Yuna."

  


"I did. It was a promise to a friend."

  


"Her father?"

  


"Yes."

  


There was a short pause in which it seemed the man was listening to the flames, but it was clear he was going to say no more.

  


"It's very hard to get information out of you, you know."

  


"Not at all. I have answered every question you have asked me."

  


"Ah, you use the same tactic as I do."

  


"Yes, you can learn an awful lot more by answering only specifically, and when you are spoken to. And listen in on what others are saying."

  


Lulu smirked, that was her motto. 

  


Auron shifted, so that he was sitting closer to Lulu.

  


"You never told me why you were living in Besaid, without your parents."

  


"My mother died. When I was a little girl. I don't know my father."

  


"I see."

  


He turned back to the flames, deep in thought. Lulu looked over, the way the flames reflected off of his face, the way he looked, and how he thought everything through so carefully...he was perfection.

  


He was the perfection she was craving.

  


A few hours later the two were getting tired. They had discussed a few things such as the weather, and where the others may have gone to. But now they were tired, and there wasn't a huge amount of space for sleeping in.

  


They were squashed close together, Auron had wrapped an arm around Lulu for warmth.

  


"I never thanked you properly for finding my Moogle...it's very special to me."

  


"Your first?"

  


"Yes."

  


"I remember my first sword. It was perfect, I had to steal it though, I didn't have enough gil for it."

  


Lulu smiled, recalling she had stolen her Moogle doll. But she decided against telling him this.

  


"I acquired mine. With no help from my so-called father."

  


Auron said nothing, it was obviously a delicate subject for her, instead he closed his eyes.

  


"Maybe it's time to let go of the past. Memories are nice, but that's all they are."

  


"Rikku said that. Just before we entered the Farplane together."

  


"I know. And I know why you dislike her."

  


Lulu snorted and turned on her side - arms crossed.

  


"Maybe...but in a way I don't care. She's welcome to him. I hate it when people toy with my emotions like that...he had no right!"

  


Auron again remained silent. Lulu turned again to face him.

  


"I want someone who shares my thoughts, my dreams, my desire for perfection. I want the right someone, and I'm not opening my heart again for anyone less."

  


Auron nodded, still silent.

  


"So...you wanted to know about my family?"

  


Auron cracked open an eye...did this mean? Lulu caught the look on his face.

  


"Yes, I'm opening up my heart. Please Auron...don't make me regret it..."

  


"I wouldn't dream of spoiling your perfection, Lu."

  


Auron moved his arm so that the two were more comfortable, and Lulu genuinely smiled for the first time in years. She had never been this happy, even with Wakka.

  


And so Lulu began to tell the story of her Moogle doll, knowing that she would never need to open up to anyone ever again.

  


_**~*~Owari~*~**_

  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  


  



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